Comments

Hello ! I like your title, very witty and capturing to the reader. You make very valid points and I agree that they should be banned however there are many consequences that can happen due to it potentially becoming legal(black market, underground crime) but as I read your reply to Lochans post, I look forward to read your counter arguments to them in your future claims. There are a few spelling mistakes but other than that I look forward to reading your future claims!

Hi there,
You make a valid point in your argument and I agree that the influence can be very harmful to parents’ children. However, it could be possible that children were influenced by people other than their parents such as peers from school? Some children may smoke despite their parents not being smokers because they want to conform to peer pressure. My parents used to smoke too but l didn’t get influenced as I saw the long term effects it caused and I didn’t want to endure that myself so it was more of a motivation towards ‘not wanting to smoke’. But as you stated, 60% is a significant amount so your point is very valid.
Nevertheless, I like that you mentioned the Ministry Of Health as this is a legit source and also that you back up your evidence very nicely, your writing style is very intriguing and easy to read/ understand. Keep it up 🙂

Laine Yeager

A very interesting and controversial choice of topic, I like how decisive you are with your topic and that you are very assertive towards wanting the death penalty to become legal again.
Although I am half-hearted about the issue, I look forward to the points you will be making in your upcoming arguments to give me more insight. I do agree that they families suffer traumatically due to their loss and that the killer is still able to live and I hear they get treated pretty well such as being supplied with a last dinner meal requested by the killer whereas the families are still grieving the loss.
One thing I would say is that I remember we are advised to not use rhetorical questions (“granted yes they will be sent to jail but in some cases how long for??”) as they give an unanswered response and maybe more link anchors such as statistics of how many families go into deep depression post murder etc .
Other than that, a great first sub-claim! Can’t wait to read the rest 🙂

Hi there,
I like the quote you used at the start as it goes very well with your claim. I also like how you used statistics from other countries to show how NZ should reconsider their laws prohibiting the death penalty since America has a more open mind approach towards it.
“is as if we are putting offenders rights before those who have been killed and it is extremely unfair”, a valid point as this made me think twice about my thoughts towards the death penalty. You could maybe use statistics/evidence that show the post traumatic stress that the families of the victims go through so that it shows how unfair making it illegal it really is.
Other than that, you are on the right track with your research. Keep it up ! 🙂

Hi there,
This is a valid counter claim that you have used as it happens quite a lot.
As Savannah mentioned “Regardless of how strongly I or residents of New Zealand feel”, not all residents of NZ will agree with your debate as strongly as you do so maybe something along the lines like “how strongly I or some/ many residents of New Zealand.”
Other than that, your argument has been a great read and the information you provided was valid and relevant to what you were trying to say. 🙂

Melinda Lam

Hi Melinda,
I like how you have lots of links regarding your argument. However, I believe we have to make the links have titles instead of them being normal, long urls so that it is easier to understand what the link will be about before clicking. 🙂

A very interesting and unique choice of topic! I like how you explain some background to K-Pop for those who don’t know about it. I enjoy listening to some K-Pop songs myself so I never really thought about what they go through behind close doors as it does convey ‘rainbows and sunshine’, so this will very interesting to read further about in terms of their rights and freedom. Your writing style is very inviting, casual and approachable which makes me want to read more.
I look forward to the rest of your argument :

I agree with you that it is very abusive to their human rights as these companies are exploiting their talents and abilities for their own indulgence. Although it was their own choice and free will to sign the contracts, they did sign them at 13 years old which is pretty much an irrational age to sign any contract of any sort…. So hopefully there can be some proposal protecting K-Pop stars rights (especially when they’re starting out that young).
One thing I would add is to add more link anchors to your argument to make your point as strong as you intend it to.
Other than that, a great first sub-claim and I look forward to reading the rest of your blog!

Sam Taylor

Hey Sam, I like how you clearly gave us precise evidence on how pricy public transport can be for tertiary students, for someone like me who is terrible with numbers, I understood what you meant and you explained it very well.
I agree that it should be made free, or at least made immensely cheaper… especially if I am paying over $50 a week. The concession can only do so much I mean it doesn’t make a huge difference when you have lectures daily and end up spending over $200 a month on transport alone(with concession).
It’s ridiculous as sometimes when some students don’t have the money to go to Uni, they may end up skipping lectures because of that.
All I can say is to maybe add some more link anchors such as the legit fees to prove you aren’t making it up or how it is affecting students going to study.
Other than that, a great first sub-claim. I look forward to your next claims !!! 🙂

Savannah Welsh

Hi there,
I agree that same-sex marriage should be legalized as it’s the individuals right and freedom of choice to do what they want. And personally, I don’t find anything wrong with it since all it does it promote happiness and love between the couple… well unless you have strong religious beliefs then that can affect a lot. Even though I do have a religious background it doesn’t prevent me from believing in human rights and an individuals happiness.
I like your 3rd sub-claim as it can provide a lot of statistical evidence for the reader, thus proving your point even more and it also emphasizes why it should be legal too.
Nevertheless, I look forward to your argument. 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s